A southerner’s Observations on winter weather / Lessons learned

[Gunner_45]

Thought I would share some of the things I have observed/learned during our latest winter storm here in Dallas.

1. Wheel chairs and icy sidewalks do not mix.
2. Drunks on foot and icy sidewalks do not mix.
3. Drunks in cars and icy roads do not mix.
4. People walking unruly dogs on icy sidewalks do not mix
5. Good Year MTR’s W/ Kevlar SUCK on icy roads.
6. A chick will risk a frost bitten cooter just to look hot in her little black dress.
7. A Dallas cab driver from (Name the African country of your choice) is probably NOT the best person to have drive your ass around town on a half inch of ice.
8. Finely engineered German cars and gentrified Range Rovers are NOT imbued with magical ice defeating powers of traction and WILL end up having
a “close/personal” relationship with a retaining wall on the Dallas North Toll way if driven by an idiot.
9. Do not park your car under the trees if freezing rain is in the forecast.
10. Do not park your car under a sloped awning when the ice starts melting.

And most importantly………..


Never, ever, ever…….. Fart when wearing a long coat.

Note: Only two of the above listed items apply directly to me.

 

[kflips]

rules for the ages

 

[RamRod]

It cracks me up when some one comes up here and has never driven on snowy/icy/frozen roads and you get to drive them first and pop that cherry of theirs! I usually take them for a wild ride and scare the crap out of them. . . For us it's just second nature and we are as used to it as you can be.

You know it's cold when your tires and a flat spot in the rubber from being parked over night and it takes them about 15 miles before they warm up enought to be round again!


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[Big Mike]

welcome to what life in the northeast is like.. :cheers:

 

[3Hummers]

Actually hit 39 in Newport this AM. Bbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrr. warmed up into the mid 60s though.

 

[Big2dabank]

We were sunny and 85 this weekend, only ice I have ever seen is in my drinks. I'll send some warm thoughts your way.

 

[bendyprissy]

My son came home from Dallas the other day with 2" of ice on his entire car. Driving was interesting he said. People sliding all over the place.

 

[skeptic]

snow>>>>>>>>ice

I don't mind driving on snow, especially here in UT where they do a great job of keeping the major roads fairly clear. I hate driving on ice. If I ever move somewhere that freezing rain is common (ie back to the Portland OR area), I'll probably keep a set of studded tires handy.

 

[3Hummers]

Mark, If you lay off the Mexican food the fart attacks won't be quite so severe.

 

[mkmcgreg]

It always cracks me up to! We just had our first snowfall here and you can tell the people that just got their first AWD/4X4 vehicle because they feel they are king of the road. They fail to realize that even tho they have four wheel drive to get them going that you still only have four wheel stop...

 

[skeptic]

It always cracks me up to! We just had our first snowfall here and you can tell the people that just got their first AWD/4X4 vehicle because they feel they are king of the road. They fail to realize that even tho they have four wheel drive to get them going that you still only have four wheel stop...

And 2 wheel turning...

Even here in UT where it snows every winter, the first snow of the year brings the idiocy. Apparently in the time between the last snow of the previous year and the first snow of the new one people forget how to drive in the stuff.

Short story: When I moved to UT from South Florida I was driving a lifted Cherokee with BFG MTs. First snow caught me on the highway. It was coming down hard and the roads all turned white within a few miles. I put my Jeep in full time 4wd and slowed way down. Cars and trucks were passing me left and right (well, only left as I was in the slow lane), and I was starting to think I was being a big pansy.... Until I started seeing the wrecks. Within a few days I noticed 2 things - even with full time 4wd the MTs I had were horrible in the slick stuff, and most people were slowing down driving same speed I was.

I'm still baffled by the people that are cautious enough to really slow down, yet somehow think they are fine driving as close to the car in front of them as they do in warm dry weather.

 

[3Hummers]

I picked up a Jeep in Ft. Worth one year for my ex-brother in law. I was driving it back to Waco in a ice/snow storm and noticed the same thing. Cars were whizzing past me on the freeway but I wasn't about the get even a scratch on my BiL's Jeep so I kept it slow and steady. I bet I passed at least 50% of the cars that passed me earlier off in the ditch on either side of the highway.

 

[High Five H2]

my favorite part of snowy weather is seeing all those people whiz by me face first in the snow on the side of the road. It always seems to be 4x4s, and, inexplicably, 2 wheel drive trucks. the 2x4 trucks are always driving fast, even though they're the worst thing you can drive in the snow.

 

[Green 1]

I drove all over DFWn the Honda, the truck and the Hummer with no issues. I saw a lot of idiots as usual and had no issues on the road but I did stick my 3/4 ton 4x4 Chevy and buried it to the frame on my place. My neighbor was playing in his 5 Ton military truck came over and pulled me out. We had a blast.

 

[Big Mike]

I hope its gone by the time I get there...

This weeks big rig adventure has 2 drops in Big D, 1 FTW, 1 outside Austin, 2 San Antonio, and a final drop in El Paso.....good times

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[3Hummers]

It is getting better pretty quickly.

 

[RamRod]

This photo was taken by me two days ago while out on a hunting trip... FYI -40 is the same temp in *C and *F

It was f'in cold out... Try dressing a deer in that weather, it'll have you sticking you hands into its guts faster than a bottle of Vicodin at Courtney Love's house

 

[Bigunit]

It was f'in cold out... Try dressing a deer in that weather

Screw trying to dress a deer in that weather and focus on just trying to dress yourself...the deer already has a coat on! :sly:


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[Gunner_45]

Also, I need to add………

A. Bicycles and ice do not mix.
B. Fart pipes and sky high spoilers do not improve the traction of your little rice burner car.
C. Baby Lambo’s are not a choice ride for re-frozen roads.
D. 20”+ rims and low profile tires, when combined with icy streets and 12 in high curbs do not mix well.

 

[Bigunit]

And most importantly………..


Never, ever, ever…….. Fart when wearing a long coat.

...unless you had the foresight to install a fart pipe under the long coat - kinda like installing a snorkel on an H3 just in case air intake becomes a challenge!

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[Gunner_45]

****er.

 

[Dennis]

Thought I would share some of the things I have observed/learned during our latest winter storm here in Dallas.

1. Wheel chairs and icy sidewalks do not mix.
2. Drunks on foot and icy sidewalks do not mix.
3. Drunks in cars and icy roads do not mix.
4. People walking unruly dogs on icy sidewalks do not mix
5. Good Year MTR’s W/ Kevlar SUCK on icy roads.
6. A chick will risk a frost bitten cooter just to look hot in her little black dress.
7. A Dallas cab driver from (Name the African country of your choice) is probably NOT the best person to have drive your ass around town on a half inch of ice.
8. Finely engineered German cars and gentrified Range Rovers are NOT imbued with magical ice defeating powers of traction and WILL end up having
a “close/personal” relationship with a retaining wall on the Dallas North Toll way if driven by an idiot.
9. Do not park your car under the trees if freezing rain is in the forecast.
10. Do not park your car under a sloped awning when the ice starts melting.

And most importantly………..


Never, ever, ever…….. Fart when wearing a long coat.

Note: Only two of the above listed items apply directly to me.

....We live so close together..same observations applied to OKC recently too...That was fricken funny Gunner...Thanks for the laugh....PS: The coat thing applies to most men anyway..short coat, long coat..it don't matter..so don't feel special:shifty:

 

[LagunaH1]

Never, ever, ever…….. Fart when wearing a long coat.

Not related to weather but still a hard-learned lesson of life:

...also never, ever fart immediately before applying any type of allergy nose spray

 

[LagunaH1]

I think we are up to some 65 degrees here in southern Orange County